Army Base General Store
"Everything’s for sale, my friend. Everything. If I had a brother named Miller, I’d sell him in a second."
Welcome, soldier, to our humble general store, now available in your base. Don’t count on your requisition officer. You are not James Bond, you don’t need Q or any other part of the alphabet. Surely you are a good soldier, so you have some money. Use them. We have everything you could possibly need, including, but not limited to:
– Plenty of food and drinks
Because there are better, tastier things than MRE and that remainder from Korean War you had for lunch today. We can guarantee you’ll survive in an apocalypse with our fine products.
– Newspaper
Do you want to know what really happened in Oreokastro? Do you want to know the true identity of Keystone? Do you like movies about gladiators? Do you blame CSAT? Read and maybe you’ll find some answers. Maybe.
– Batteries and matches
One day, you may be transferred to Bright Falls, Washington. Ever heard of Alan Wake? Surely you want to be better prepared than he was.
– Writing accessories
So you can pretend you are writing something nice to your girlfriend, even though you can barely read and you don’t have a girlfriend.
– Lots of tape
You are a soldier. Sooner or later, you’ll need hostages. Trust us. Since hostages may talk, you may need something to cover their lousy mouths.
– Eau de Combat Aftershave
Do we really need to explain anything? If so, read that fine print on the box. You are welcome.
Please note that all products are clearly visible and available for grab (if you pay for them, of course) on our patented tables. Unlike those ridiculous shelfs used by AAF, not a single item can fall through them.
