CHAPPED LIPS DISEASE! HOLY F♥♥K IT HURTS!

Holy crap! Do my eyes deceive me?! Is that a new and confounded disease released upon the peasantry of the ♂DEEPEST♂DARKEST♂DUNGEON♂?!

Has your sorry sod of a posterior found itself in the workshop forsaken town of Hamlet? Well congratulations, here’s an additional reason to kill yourself. Introducing ☺ the new bane of existence alongside Wyrd Reconstruction, I give you: Chapped Lips!

MY GREATEST GIFT!!!

It is cracked and unmoist! It is the most intense level of mild inconvenience you have ever felt in your entire accumulative life. F♥♥♥ December. F♥♥♥ Lip Balm. Good luck sucking Xelsword‘s fat F♥♥king titties with them dry ass cracked lips. That’s right pal! This mod blue-balls you!!! With your F♥♥king lips!!!!!

But while fornicating and slapping your left nut to the myriad of other downloadable content you have no doubt installed, you may be so inclined to ask yourself: what exactly does this disease do? What was it, Solomon that asked God for wisdom? Stupid. It gives you +5% stress. Yes, this is what you get.

CHAPPED LIPS! SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE DRY INCONVENIENCE! Tell me! Have you ever felt this level of minor discomfort?! Do you feel your sanity caving in? Are you beginning to see the cruel and inevitable truth of the world?! Every night will be a wet dream of when you downloaded this mod. I will be there to confirm.

May contain bad times! Files that crash! [<str_description_third_point>]! Dirt your hand with peanut butter and punch your neighbor who’s allergic to nuts!

I could really give less of a sh*t!

There are thousands of factors conspiring to sap your kisser of moisture, and I am now one of them. Don’t like it? Kiss my ass! Oh wait! Chapped Lips!!!

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But don’t just take my word for it. Listen to these USER REVIEWS by people I made up:

Not even the Ancestor is this evil. – Some Nerd

Finally, a mod that caters to MY fetish. – ChappedLipFawker69

This will not stop me from sucking Xelsword’s tits. – xX_LeastHornyDDGamer_Xx

“Remind yourself that overconfidence is a slow and insidious killer.” – The Ancestor

Wow. – Every disease ever (especially the Black Plague and Crimson Curse)

This mod is like, pretty cool. Maybe you should like, download it or something – Everitt

Has this mod been tested? F♥♥k you! I’m not giving myself chapped lips! I don’t know if it works.

Legal Disclaimer:
Due to the aggressive nature of the humor used in this description I must clarify that all aggression and crudeness is purely for satirical and comedic purposes. This was not intended for any offense. The names of any users mentioned other than Xelsword is entirely coincidental.

Legal 2 Electric Boogaloo:
This mod is not an official Red Hook Studios product or product modification, and Red Hook Studios Inc. is not responsible in any way for changes or damages that may result from using the mod. Furthermore, “Darkest Dungeon” and the Darkest Dungeon logo are trademarks of Red Hook Studios Inc. All content in the game is Copyright Red Hook Studios Inc. All rights reserved.